Say you might have accidentally, whilst sat next to someone, seen a text message that eluded to the fact a friend of yours was having an affair and was thinking of leaving her boyfriend.
But say the boyfriend was a very, very, very good friend of yours who you couldn’t bear to see get hurt.
What would you do?
I can’t tell him what I have seen. It’s not my place to do that. But I don’t think I can just sit here with this information and not do a thing.
Oh my, don't you wish you could just, every now and then, unring a bell?
You said it yourself – 'it's not my place to tell him.' If you really can't do nothing with the information, it seems to me you already know the best thing to do is to confront the friend having the affair, rather than informing the unknowing boyfriend.
Going around the problem, by talking to your cheated-on friend who is a boy, is likely to cause more pain and anger all the way around. You can't stop him from being hurt if she does decide to leave him and you will be the initial dart that delivers the pain if you choose to tell him first.
If your friend realizes the error of her ways and wants to continue the relationship, it's her place to tell him about the affair, or not – regardless of how you feel about that decision.
If she realizes that she shouldn't sneak around, but should break up with him, you will be better off providing support to him rather than being the bearer of the bad news.
But before you say anything, consider this: if the fickle friend determines to continue her current behavior unchecked, how would you feel about losing her friendship (due to the confrontation) and chilling the relationship you have with them as a couple (since she'll be uncomfortable with you around, knowing you know her secret)?
Sometimes it is best to let things take their own course… and be discreet about any knowledge you had beforehand.
Good luck.
You can't win with this, so I'd say keep quiet. Be there for him should the worst happen, and if you really feel like you have to say something, tell the girl you've seen it.
Awful position to be in! Good luck with whatever you decide. x
Thanks Ladies.
It's such a tough one.
I'm just hoping that she makes up her mind soon and decides what to do. I can't imagine the pain of finding out an affair has been going on or a long time.
And yes, the best thing for me to do is be there when, if, she does decide to leave.
Grrrrrrr to indiscreet friends.