Last month I picked up a new book ‘The life changing magic of not giving a f**k’ by Sarah Knight on a bit of a whim. Maybe because I thought it would be a bit of a joke book, Maybe because it has a pretty pink cover. Maybe because it’s a bit sweary and lets face it, we all know swearing is cool.
But then I started reading it and realised that hiding in that pink cover is a pretty amazing book.
One of the things I am terribly guilty of is trying to please people. And mostly trying to please people who I really shouldn’t be trying to please because they just aren’t worth it. And I care far too much about what people think of me. As a result of this I’m always saying yes to doing things I have zero interest in doing so as not to offend said people I’m trying to please or make them think I'm a nob.
If that sounds a bit like you then you have to read this book. Order it now. There is a link here.
The book is all about identifying what is important in your life (what you give a fuck about) and what isn’t. Then it talks you through creating a ‘fuck budget’ to determine where your fucks are best spent. There are also some great chapters on how to not be an asshole whilst putting this plan into place, and how tackle your family, how not to get fired from work and keeping your friends whilst doing it. There are paragraphs on dealing with endless and pointless conference calls, on avoiding those nights out you have no interest on going on and on getting out of those 4 day weddings abroad you just can’t afford. Oh and kids parties. I now have a personal policy to not attend kids parties. Puppy parties however feel free to invite me to!
For instance some of the things that feature highly on my ‘no fucks given’ list* at the moment are:
- Going to events I have no time/money/energy for. If I say no to something you’re organising. Please don’t take offence; sometimes I just can’t justify the expense of going on a 2 day bender in London. And sometimes I’ve had a hectic week and just need a night in my PJ’s with the pups. Or it might be that I just don' like you. Jokes.
- Judgemental people who weigh in on things they have no clue about. You don't know who you're offending or how much damage you're doing with your ridiculous opinions. It's fine to have your opinions but don't throw them about. Well, not near me.
- Running, Actually, people who talk about it ALL THE TIME. Yes we know you ran 10 marathons this week. You never bloody shut up about it.
- Babies. Namely pretending I like them. I have puppies. That’s plenty enough for me thanks.
- Apologising for stuff that’s no my fault or doesn’t require an apology . I do it all the time. It’s so annoying. I’m trying to stop. I need your help with it. Slap my hand if I say sorry unnecessarily.
- Internet Explorer.
I’ve not read a ‘self help’ book before, I haven’t even Marie Kondo’d my wardrobe or life yet, but as you can see this ‘life changing magic’ book has had a real impact on my life. I read and reread chapters. I made notes. I’ve started assessing what I should be doing with my days more rather than just blindly going along with the things I *think* I should be doing. I laughed out loud more times on the bus than a person trying to pretend they're full sane should. I’ve debated buying the digital version to have with me to refer back to because the book is currently being read by Toni, and there is a list of people wanting it after her. (Incidentally, if you’re a 3d friend of mine and receive a book shaped present……I’m not saying it’s definitely this, but it probably is).
Honestly, I can’t recommend it highly enough. Plus, it looks pretty on Instagram.
*This is not an exhaustive list because some of the items on it are a bit personal or relate to specific people so I fel they were better off my blog. You know, so I'm not a total asshole about it all!