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Life changing magic

Life changing magic
The Life Changing Magic

On why having kids apparently makes you more important than me!

My favourite fur faces! 
I tried to find a picture of them looking cuter than babies but you'll have to make do with this one, where they are fighting over a stick!
A couple of weeks ago it was suggested to me, at a group meal, that my life was somewhat insignificant because I don't have kids, and, that my love for my dogs wasn't important because they didn't come from my womb.

Yes, that’s right the word womb was said at the dinner table. Who does that?


But, besides from that dinner table faux pas, the more pressing thing I took away from the situation was when did it become OK to believe someone wasn't as important because they don't have a child? Why does having kids make you better than me?


It's not a new thing I have encountered, I’m 35 and everyone around me seems to be having children, but it's the first time that it's been actually said out loud. I totally get that having children must be a game changer, but it's not something that I've been 'blessed' with (and I'm assured it is a blessing). This however doesn’t make me less of a person, or less of a woman than someone with kids. It just means my life is, right now, different to yours. And no, I don’t want to discuss the reasons why I don’t have any, especially not at dinner!


And I’ll be honest, it really pissed me off that someone had the audacity to tell me that my love for my furfaced boys isn’t valid because 1. they are dogs and 2. I didn’t give birth to them. Firstly, I’m not sure there is room to love anyone else in my heart. Flash takes up far too much space and Melle has his spot and Jim gets the rest that is left. And secondly. What if I adopted a child? Would they matter less than one I’d given birth to? I know this bit is just that one person’s point of view but it really riled me up.


Having kids, not having kids, not being able to have kids, not liking kids. Everyone is entitled to their opinion about the situation, but to tell me that my life is somehow not as important as someone else’s who has made a different decision to me. That’s when it it’s going to piss me off. And I am sure I’m not the only one who has faced this sort of judgment.


Tell me, how did you cope with it, because I’m still sat here somewhat annoyed that I didn’t have a witty retort on hand and I want to have yours to use next time I face the same sort of comments.

1 comment

  1. Ooh I think I'd get a bit ragey in that situation, and I'm extremely non confrontational! I'm guessing these people realised that they were less important before they had children then, according to them? Also, were they sure they weren't saying these things to someone who had been trying to have a kid for years without success? Asshat. I don't have any advice about a belated retort but I might think up one for the future ;)

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