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There’s a hole in my pocket where my dreams fell through.......

Not to put too morbid a spin on things, but sometimes I can't help but think about all the things I thought I'd have a lifetime of years, and money, to achieve that I'm probably just going to have to abandon.

Mostly because I'm never going to be able to afford to do all the things I want to do now, even if I did find the energy to go back to work full time. But also because, if I go back to work to earn the money to do them, I very much doubt I'll have the energy to plan them, let alone achieve these things. Or the holiday allowance. I know I probably shouldn't, and that it's incredibly entitled of me, but I kind of feel like there should be some get out clause in terms of money, now for me. Unfortunately, life doesn't work like that and mortgages still need to be paid, and food bought, and life lived so I need to work to do all those things - which will hinder me in living out my life full of adventure and excitement!

Although, I did think that I would never live to see us get a new kitchen, I mean, I thought that before the cancer - but that's starting next week, so, I've achieved that life goal. Maybe that'll be enough?

Now, in order that these dreams I fear I'll never achieve don't disappear into the ether, I wanted to document them here. These are just a few of the things I want to do - the list is still growing;

  • Go to Copenhagen (to drink beer) - that beer festival Mikkeller run looks amazing, but discounting that, I'd just love to see the city!
  • Visit Iceland - because it just looks absolutely amazing! 
  • Go snowboarding in Japan - snowflakes the size of your hand! THE SIZE OF YOUR HAND!
  • Own a drone - a photography one, obvz. 
  • Get my dogs trained - them not barking at animals on the TV, or each other, would be bliss!
  • See my friends weddings. Some of them need to start agreeing on dates. Stat! I think! Others have kindly sorted theirs so I'll be partying with them!
  • See my nephews grow up. Because they are super cute little dudes!
  • Go to San Diego 
  • Live by the sea, again. I just love the sea and I always dreamed I get to live by it again! 
  • Brew a beer. Something fruity. The juice! All the way!
  • See and photograph the milky way - I wanted to in Mammoth, but it was cloudy EVERY night!
  • Find my jewellery style! 
  • Get the new Burton Step-on bindings and get to use them. 
  • Build a house (no, not on the Sims)
  • Visit Hawaii - I really need a beach holiday and all those surfers would make a beautiful backdrop
  • Visit Cuba - I wish I'd gone 10 years ago, or 5 years ago......or at any point in my life! 
  • See penguins in the wild - I've always been a bit obsessed with penguins. I just love them. 
  • Do the Inca trail. It just looks amazing. 
  • Sail more - because it makes me happy.
  • Live in the mountains again! No explanation necessary, really. 
  • Go on a Safari. I want to see zebras and lions and elephants in their natural environment. But right now even the yorkshire wildlife park would be ok!
See, far too many hopes and dreams for my bank balance. Unless the euro millions win I've been eyeing up comes my way. In which case I'm buying a chalet in the mountains, a home by the sea and then working my way down the list one by one!

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Thanks for stopping by and reading my ramblings. I hope to see you again soon.