Oh Gosh Silver


My Carry On Flight Essentials


My Cancer treatment

ps cs2

I just got photoshop on my laptop again.

I am so happy to have it back.

I am also pretty excited about taking part in the Scavenger Hunt 101. so many photos. so little time.

*Photos by me. frames from here


I am in need of a holiday......

Sometimes you just need something to take your mind of the rest of your life. I am taking my mind off it all by planning one of my best friends 30th's. It scares the hell out of me that i have a friend who's nearly 30. But you know, she has to have a kick ass party!

So, we have booked a penthouse suite at an apartment hotel, we have champagne, we have a bbq planned, music, and a cake.

But first off all we have invites! Moo launched their business cards a few weeks ago, and i thought they might make the perfect invites - wallet sized, unforgettable, and very sarah! {although they did cut off a letter on the reverse - but you cant see that - it's an invite only party!!!!}

And not only are they cute but i got the chance to use a wordle!

There is nothing like staying up until 6am partying with old friends to make you feel young. But there is nothing like working all day the next day to make you feel really old.

I have concluded at 27, I am too old for it.

Not necessarily too old to stay up until 6am, but definitely too old to have to spend the next day being pleasant to customers whilst wanting to be sick on their shoes*

The unfortunate part is, I may be too old to do it, but I have almost certainly NOT learnt my lesson. Roll on the weekend!

*I am helping a friend at her shop over the summer. The extra cash will be handy, but at times when I have the hangover even French bread and cream cheese can’t cure, even the free clothes won’t make up for it.


Raining again.


A mistake?

There are times when I feel like maybe I made a mistake. Like maybe I should give it all another shot. Maybe THIS time it might work.

But then I remember how I felt like a failure, like I wasn’t worth anything, like – even thought I was working my ass of – my job just didn’t matter, like I wasn’t free to be me, like I couldn’t speak my mind and say “it’s 12.30am, its Wednesday, I have to be at work at 7.30, stop playing computer games really loudly and tell your friends to f**k off home for once”, like my friends and family didn’t matter because you only ever saw them once or twice a year and got me to lie on the other occasions about why you weren’t there, and like the fact you hated me, and told me so, was my fault, because I was useless and weak and annoying for asking for help.

I remember the fear I felt walking down the corridor sometimes because I couldn’t remember if I had forgotten to tidy something up or do all of the dishes, and wondering if I would get yelled at for not doing them, or just get the silent treatment, or get them smashed all over the flat and have to buy more because it was my birthday and you cant have friends over for birthday tea with out crockery. And I remember the friends that I stopped speaking to because they were boys and your insecurities couldn’t handle them in my life, even though they had been there longer than you.

I remember the despair and the feeling of just wanting to vanish, just to get in my car and rive off, and i had it planned, i could be in france before anyone would know i was gone, and really have no-one know where I was, because then I could start again.

You keep saying you’ll change. But even if you do, I might not be able to get over the way that you’ve made me feel these last two years.

And how can you get over it? How can you forgive me for the words i said. how can you forgive yourself?


Watching the ships roll in......


They say we're in for another wet summer this year
If this is the case - i need;
a) a new rain coat - with a hood. that is waterproof.
b) a larger umbrella
c) both
d) to live somewhere it doen't rain ALL summer long {but snows and has mountains in the winter}


Its the end of another week. It’s not been a hectic one, or too tough, but it seems like it started a LONG time ago.

There are little things making me happy though;

  • The guilty pleasures of my favourite lunchtime treat – a Wensleydale, apple and watercress Sandwich with beetroot and cranberry chutney, from Out of the Woods. I shouldn’t. I know the cheese will give me a migraine. But quite honestly I can’t resist.
  • Catching up with the boys and hearing all about Glastonbury. Oh, yes, I know now I should have gone, Watching it on the beeb just isn’t quite the same as being at a festival but I am sure the 500+ photo’s they took will make up for it some how.
  • Thinking about test driving cars. And trying to avoid making big decisions.
  • Knowing I’ll be spending Saturday night with Sarah and Hev. Drinking cocktails and dancing and gossiping. And then working with the very same ladies on Sunday with a hangover. Just like old times.
  • Planning trips to see friends I haven’t seen in a long time.
  • Listening to this song. I live with my ipod on shuffle, which can be embarrassing when the Rod Stuart track you added to make your friend laugh on that car journey comes on in public, but it does mean you never know what is going to brighten up your life next.
I hope the weekend goes just as slowly as this week has, but that it's filled with much more fun.
{picture taken on the last night out with Sarah and Hev}
I am test driving one of these little beauties this weekend. Isn’t it cute, in a ‘but I still look cool’ kind of way.

This whole buying a car thing throws up some difficult questions though.

My two previous cars have been second hand, like-it-or-lump-it numbers {don’t get me wrong – I did love them, but I didn’t have a choice}.
But now, buying a car from scratch means I have to be responsible for things like the colour {now that’s a biggie – what if I get it and then change my mind, or worse, what if in a state of dispare i decide to go with 'cornflower yellow'?} and the seats – there are 4 different options of seat covers, and then there is the trim – another 3 options. What if I choose and then it all clashes? And then - Alloys - 14", 15" or 16"? A stereo with a cd changer or ipod dock? a sunroof? Where do i stop.There are just sooooooo many options. And thats before i have chose the engine - 1.4 or 1.6 {there is a 1.1 option, but i am ignoring it}. Petrol or diesel? God, this is hard.

Now I know these seem like trivial decisions – ‘You’re getting a new car’ I hear you cry, but I’m the kind of girl who shops at Topshop, H&M and Primarni so I can get 4 of those tops in different colours for when I get bored. I take every piece of clothing i have, every where, 'just in case' {which has been a problem whilst living this hobo life of late}.

This however is a car - its something i have to keep for at least 3-4 years, and not something i can just go and swap if i change my mind. {If only car dealerships were more like Topshop!}

So, I am thinking of taking the wimps way out – buying an ex-demo model – they’re ready made, usually top spec, and i hear they're a little cheaper than new. It also means that I can always blame any little bits I’m completely happy about on someone else!